


Would you jump with me?

by PleaseDontFindThisMom



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Gen, References to Depression, Suicidal Peter Parker, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-11
Updated: 2020-09-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26405161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PleaseDontFindThisMom/pseuds/PleaseDontFindThisMom
Summary: Sometime you just don't want to hit the rock bottom all alone.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Wade Wilson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 72





	Would you jump with me?

“What does it feel like?”

“What what feels like Spidey?”

“Falling.”

“I’m not even going to pretend I know what you mean by that. You swing around all the time.”

“Falling and not stopping.”

“You mean-”

“Falling till the end.”

“That’s… Hard to say. It hurts like a bitch, the impact. And you are bound to get at least couple broken bones if you fall from high enough.”

“Hmm.”

“I feel like I’m missing something here. You wanna break a bone or what?”

“And if you fall from higher up?”

“Totally ignoring me, but like, the impact usually kills me if I’m lucky. If I’m unlucky I just get all my bones broken and guts on the street and I have to heal while being aware compared to healing while being dead.”

“Hmm.”

“Okay, now I know I’m out of the loop. Why do you ask? Spidey, talk to me, I’m getting antsy and I don’t like feeling antsy, I start to talk mile a minute then and-”

“Wade.”

“Told you I would get annoying-”

“Wade.”

“What?”

“Is it lonely?”

“Once again, I’m not going-”

“Falling all the way down.”

“Not really? It’s like only some tens of seconds and I’m so focused on everything else company is the last thing on my mind, you know?”

“Hmm.”

“Getting antsy again. Lemme tell you, I didn’t expect this conversation to be your choice of icebreaker. Usually people go with colors or animals or hobbies or-”

“Would you do it with me?”

“Interrupting again, but I will bite, I’m nice like that. Do what?”

“Jump with me.”

“Yet once again, I’m not following.”

“Wade, would you jump with me and fall all the way down?”

“That- What? You can’t mean-”

“I know what I said.”

“It’s like seventy stories down, the impact would totally-”

“I know.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“So, would you?”

“I got so many questions.”

“I’d imagine it would be nice to have a hand to hold at the last second. You are a good guy and you wouldn’t die.”

“Totally not what I was meaning to ask.”

“Those are the answers I’m willing to give.”

“At least tell me how long. I’m not going along with some spur of the moment, feeling drunk and stupid thing.”

“... Two years, give or take.”

“Two ye-?!”

“Wade.”

“What?!”

“Don’t freak out. We had this thing going on.”

“Okay, okay, but I’m entitled to freak out at least a little bit.”

“Fair. So, will you do it?”

“This is not how I wanted our relationship to turn out.”

“Me neither.”

“...What the hell, your body, your choice and all that jazz, I’m just honored to be involved or something. I mean, not really, since this is just wow, but I mean-”

“Wade.”

“I can’t believe I’m never gonna hear you call my name again. Or learn yours for that matter.”

“It’s Peter.”

“Excuse me, what the fuck.”

“Feels proper to give you at least my name given what you are about to do.”

“That’s, I mean, kinda fair, but, just, yeah.”

“Your boxes are kinda silent it seems.”

“Believe you me, they are shocked they don’t have to talk me into this this time around and they are also shocked we are never gonna see under the mask. Or that we will have company for the fall.”

“Well, you can tell them that I’m acknowledging their presence and it’s nice to have the four of us on the way down.”

“...”

“What?”

“People- people don’t talk to the boxes. Other than me, that is.”

“First time for everything.”

“I guess it is.”

“So is now good?”

“Now now? Shouldn’t the last conversation be little more, I don’t know, deep or something? It’s always this emotional cryfest in movies.”

“... Okay, well, then let our last conversation be about how thankful I am for you. For not trying to talk me out of it or calling anyone and coming with me.”

“Well, I guess I don’t, out of all people, have the right to try to talk you out of it. And calling someone, I don’t even know who I would call in the first place. And why would I call? They wouldn’t be here on time and again, your right to do this and all that shit. I mean, I’m gonna miss you. As much as you can miss someone you are just getting to really know.”

“I guess you thinking like that should have been expected. And isn’t this kinda intimate, like you are getting closer to me than most? I think at this point you can say that you really know me.”

“I guess, but it really isn’t worth that much afterwards.”

“I guess not. Try to take the sentimental value for all it’s worth.”

“There’s not much else to do, is there?”

“And thank you again, Wade.”

“You are welcome, Peter.”

…

“On three.”

“I will count. Give me your hand.”

“What is the meaning behind the hand holding anyway? Not that I won’t do it, but-”

“It’s just nice to think that I won’t be all alone when I hit the rock bottom. Literally.”

“So you are dragging me down with you, literally.”

And that’s when Spiderm- Peter started to laugh. Not some small, huffed laugh Wade was used to, but honest to God belly laughing, almost doubling over. It hadn’t been that funny in all honesty, but Wade could see the laugh was sincere. He cracked a smirk and reached for the smaller boy’s hand. Interviewing their fingers, Wade made eye contact with Peter. The white pupils of the suit were narrowed and Wade could almost see the smile behind the mask.

They were standing on the ledge, seventy stories up from the ground. Their feet were firmly on the ledge, not wavering. They were facing the street, neither looking down, instead looking at each other. Peter gave Wade’s hand one final squeeze, before he began counting. 

And the time seemed to slow down, as the three numbers slipped past Peter’s lips. Wade didn’t regret being there, but it seemed too much all of sudden. There was so much that was being decided right there, at those short seconds. The boxes were quiet, too quiet. As if they couldn’t believe this was happening either and it had silenced them for good.

And then the moment was over and they were tipping over the edge. Wade kept looking at Peter’s face. Through the mask he seemed content, calm and even… Happy? He couldn’t be too sure with the mask and all. After a couple seconds of wind rushing past Wades ears, Peter turned to face him.

“It was a privilege to know you, Wade Wilson.” 

“And it was a privilege to know you, Peter…”

“Parker.”

“Parker. Peter Parker.”

The street was quickly zooming in on them. Wade turned his head to look down. There were people shouting, pointing at them. They were cleaning out of the way. The street was as gray as always, but today it looked special.

Wade hopes that red went with gray as well as it went with blue and black.

Wade spared one final glance to Peter, who seemed to be chuckling to himself. He was looking down. 

And then time was up.

The impact cracked through Wade’s whole body. He could feel bones breaking, namely his hand, spine, ribs. The flesh tore up, neck went out of place and in his last moment Wade felt Peter’s hand relax in his.

~~~

One week later, Wade still couldn’t believe it.

Spiderman’s death ripped the universe. The man was adored all around, by Avenger’s, some aliens, by most countries and especially by New York. When it went out that Spiderman had committed a suicide, it felt like for just a second, whole universe stopped to mourn the lost soul. 

Only for a second though.

Because as soon as the shock came, it lifted. Earth turned and lives continued. The close ones mourned longer, but other than that it was like Spiderman had never swung in the air.

Wade was looking out of his window, content in the silence. Or would have been without the boxes.

[I still can’t believe we never tapped that ass]

{That’s both barbaric and tactless.  _ I _ still can’t believe he died on us, without us}

And Wade couldn’t believe it either. Or rather couldn’t believe neither thing. But mainly the latter.

Wade remembers waking up hours later in the Avengers tower. He had been in the medbay and it had taken Wade grand two minutes to figure out it wasn’t Heaven with his blurry eyes in the snow white environment. When he had come to a bit more, he had noticed he didn’t have his mask, but some of the more serious wounds had been dealt with. Some bones had been obviously put in their places, there had been stitches on his neck, stomach and chest and there had been bandaging basically all over his body. No casts, mind you, just simple bandages. And in all honesty he wouldn’t have needed even them. He had basically healed already.

Wade remembers some woman in white jacket popping in and upon seeing him up checking his vitals and the wounds. She had seemed shocked that he was basically fully healed, but let him go nonetheless. After putting his mask on, Wade had been clad in some borrowed clothing (his suit was swimming in blood and torn, thus ruined beyond saving) and had been led into a conference room. There had been Tincan himself, sitting around the table along with all the other Avengers and some nervous looking civilian. Women in her what, thirties? Wade hadn’t known her, that’s for sure.

The Avengers had put him through one of the most uncomfortable conversations in his life. They had asked about jumping, about Peter, about everything Peter had said ever. It seemed to go on for hours. When Wade had mentioned Peter feeling the way he did for about two years, there had been no person in the room who didn’t shed a tear, save for him and Black Widow. Tho her eyes were clearly glassy and watering, the tears didn't drop. The unknown woman, Peter’s aunt Wade learnt later, had to be escorted out, she was sobbing too hard to continue being part of the conversation.

Eventually Wade had answered all the questions. When they had started pushing him out, he had asked to see the body. No one had apparently wanted Wade there longer than necessary, but eventually Steve gave in and coaxed Tony into letting Wade see Peter.

He had been once again led around the empty hallways into the elevator. After the most awkward elevator ride of his life the elevator had stopped and Tony had led him back into the medbay. Supremely equipped medical room with everything a doctor, surgeon or nurse might ever need. 

And there Peter had lied. In what had probably once been a spotless white bed but then had blood splatters all over, had lied brown haired small boy. He had looked so small among all the big machines. Some of the machines had been emitting small heat still, which meant that until recently someone or some had tried to bring him back to life. But there he had lied, dead.

Wade had stepped closer, not hearing the words of protest from Tony. The boy had been… He didn’t know what. He had probably been once beautiful. Soft brown curls, milky and clean white skin, well refined lean muscles, thin, pink lips and just all around amazing structure. Wade couldn’t have in good honesty said that he looked good then, with his body too still, too relaxed, too pale, too lifeless. Obviously. 

Wade had focused on the wounds. The hand had clearly been put back in place, there had been stitches all around the neck that had run down the neckline and over the face. All the blood that surely had been there after the impact had been cleared away, but there had still been some blood oozing from some of the many wounds. There had been abandoned neck brace and bandages on the floor, bloodied and they had probably been on Peter just moments earlier.

Wade had run one finger along one stitched cut, feeling the cold skin.

Without another word, Wade had turned around and gone back to the elevator, Tony rushing to catch up. They had gone back inside wordlessly and the silence had continued all the way back down to the lobby. There was someone with what had been left of Wade’s suit and it had been given to him before he had marched out of the tower, never looking back.

That happened a week ago.

[I kinda miss Spider babe]

{Everyone misses Spider babe, you are not special yellow}

Wade tuned the boxes out and kept looking out of the window. White was right though, everyone missed Spiderman and Wade wasn’t an expectation. Honestly, who wouldn’t miss him? He was bright, funny, understanding and witty. He gave second changes to people like they were breaths and strived to see good in everyone. He was like a second Sun in this world that was cold, harsh and unforgiving.

But even so, Wade couldn’t bring himself to regret jumping with Peter and falling all the way down.

**Author's Note:**

> I edited this one measly fic about 134983267269 times and I just had to accept that I would never feel ready to post it


End file.
